I’m sure we can all agree that most people in today’s society know what feeling anxious is like and at one point in their life have experienced it.
Whether it was worrying about acing an upcoming test, facing a difficult talk, or being worried about that walk home from the office alone at night – everyone has most likely felt anxious.
Growing up I was no different. I, too, had the occasional times of feeling anxious or being nervous about some upcoming task or event. However, that uneasy feeling was mostly rational and always temporary. My nerves came and went with the task or event at hand. More than likely I was able to come up with a solution to lower or even remove my apprehensions. Most importantly, that anxious feeling was never debilitating, nor did it ever control my life.
Before being diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, I was someone who lived loudly!
Not loudly as in the center of attention or made a “look at me” entrance (in fact my introvert personality usually made me do the opposite). However, I was someone who LIVED. I lived full-speed ahead with no fears that held me back from LIVING. I traveled a lot, tried many new adventures and attended countless events. Overall I grew up happy and, for the most part, carefree. But, that was pre-anxiety.
My life changed for me five years ago when I was diagnosed with three types of anxiety disorders: GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder), PD (Panic Disorder) and SAD (Social Anxiety Disorder).
I wasn’t unfamiliar with mental illnesses prior to anxiety as I had been living with episodes of depression since I was a teenager. Surprisingly, and somewhat naively, I had no idea about anxiety disorders prior to my diagnoses.
However, five years ago that all changed.
Five years ago I experienced my first panic attack and from then on my world turned upside down.
That’s not to dismiss the dark clouds that come with every depression episode. However, for me (as it’s different for all) my anxiety (paired with my episodes of depression) was/is a tsunami compared to the hurricane depression was/is on it’s own. (Again, this is just my experience).
For me, living with both mental health disorders, I yearned to feel not alone this year (Happy New Year by the way)! So, when I researched the internet about depression and anxiety I was mostly directed to medical experts and professionals sharing their knowledge and resources. Don’t get me wrong – this is absolutely needed and important but I wanted to find something more.
I wanted to find something more personal and hoped to find someone who understood exactly what I was going through. I wanted to relate to other first-person narrations who also had anxiety and depression. And for me, I found very few of those websites.
That is how Living Anonymously With Anxiety came to life.
Maybe someone out there was/is looking for the exact same personal connection. Someone sharing their first-person narration of what LIVING with anxiety is like. So here I am – sharing my journey to the path of LIVING with anxiety to not having ANXIETY control my living.