For those in the trenches of a health disorder, disease, or illness – it’s hard, sometimes, to have patience with those who don’t have a better understanding of your daily struggles. Now imagine you had a health disorder that is often times invisible, like anxiety, and multiply that frustration by a hundred!
Then there are those not in the trenches and have to stand by and watch those they love struggle. This can be just as difficult. They want to offer as much support as they can and be as comforting as possible but sometimes they don’t know what to do or what to say that will help.
So how can we – those in the trenches and those that are not – have a better understanding of one another?
You may not agree with me, and that’s okay, but as one with an anxiety disorder I believe those in the trenches and those not each have a role in providing a better understanding to each other.
For me, opening up to others is hard (even if we’re close – it can still be challenging). Obviously, it’s a little easier now in my journey (hence this blog); however, when I’m having a difficult day with anxiety, I still struggle with being open.
I think it would be easier to just hide and mask my struggles than dealing with any possible mental health stigmas, social judgments or rejection scenarios that I have thought of and replayed in my brain over and over again.
But, if I’m not open about my struggles about living with an anxiety disorder to my loved ones, how can they know what I’m going through?
People aren’t mind readers.
Yes, even trying to hide my struggles my loved ones could probably guess or could have seen the signs that something was wrong; but they couldn’t know or understand the depth of the physical and emotional symptoms of an anxiety disorder if I didn’t share what I was going through.
How could I get upset they didn’t understand what I am facing on a day-to-day basis or be frustrated they weren’t giving the kind of support I needed from them if I didn’t communicate what that was?
When I started to communicate with my loved ones what I was going through and was open about my thoughts and feelings, my relationship with them started to change from frustrating to understanding.
However, it isn’t just a one way street – my loved ones have a responsibility as well in order for the communication of understanding to truly work.
It’s just as important for them to make the effort to better understand what it’s like for someone to live with an anxiety and depressive disorder as it is for me to communicate with them what that it like for me personally (remember, all disorders are all different from person to person).
It’s hard to know what to do, what to say, or how to show support and love if you don’t understand what an anxiety and depressive disorder is.
Learning will provide the general knowledge and tools to use in order to show the support their loved ones need. Remember, learning provides understanding and you can have an understanding of their disorders even if you can’t relate to their struggles.
So, take the time to learn, be more communicative and listen more.
This will allow those in the trenches and those not to have a better understanding of one another. I know anxiety and depressive disorders are hard to understand (I still struggle with it at times myself). But, someone making the effort to try to understand and seeing what someone else is going through will truly mean more than you can ever imagine!